Entry 03

Today,

I can’t stop thinking about the concept of fate. I have no answer and maybe there isn’t any, so maybe I should stop looking. But it makes me wonder if there is a pre-meditated choice. And if fate is truly random, does it boil down to luck then? But what determines who has luck and who doesn’t? Is this metaphysical nonsense that I’ll never understand? Or is that just the way things are (which is another incomprehensible thing) and as humans we are just meant to bear it? But for what? Bear the pain and damnation for what? And what constituted a soul to be appointed to a certain life? Whether a great one or a despairing one?

And where was God when I needed him the most?

So, what am I supposed to do after all this survival? Just say that’s the way things go and bleed till I am in the grave?